May 2013
4 posts
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From The Vault...
So here’s something you might not know: I write a lot of drafts of random things that NEVER make it to this blog. Little bits and pieces really. Just thoughts, impressions. Of course some eventually get brushed off and fixed up and polished and made all shiny with pictures and correct spelling and punctuation and then posted. But many—probably MOST—don’t. Every now and...
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Update: Photos And A Little Traveling Music...
Hey guys! Two things…
ONE! I’m on Instagram!
(Click the little camera thingy!)
Ok, I’ve been on Instagram for oh, I don’t know… years? But I’m now actually USING it. So if you’re interested in my super exciting, never dull, thrill-a-minute life here in NYC, follow along! It’ll be so fun, I swear! You guys, I didn’t realize this before but...
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Sound Byte From Class...
During Half Moon…
Teacher: “Dina! DINA YOU’RE NOT WORKING! Push, Dina! Come down and push, push, pushhhhhh, PUSH, PUSH, PUSH, PUSH, PUSH, PUUUSSSSHHHH!!! And change…
Dina! Daddy had to get a little firm with you there, didn’t he?
(silence)
(beat)
Ok, that was creepy.”
Creepy, yet debilitatingly hilarious! I couldn’t stop grinning for about two...
April 2013
9 posts
11 tags
Shingles Update!
So if you’ve been following along for a minute or so, this won’t be news to you, but I’ve been sick. Like, really sick. It’s been about two and a half weeks since I came down with what I thought was the flu—turned out to actually be shingles OMG WTF I AM ONLY 33!—and a little over a week since I was officially diagnosed. Things have been, well…...
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“There is no escape. You have a full time job. You are always at the office of...”
– Kris Carr.
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Having Faith And Chocolate Cake.
“That’s it. I’m curing this thing with green juice, vitamins, meditation, and yoga. THE END.”
That was my facebook status update earlier today. I sound empowered, no? And I am! Or at least, I’m trying to be… What’s that they say? ‘Fake it til you make it’ or something?
See, here’s the thing guys. As much as I try to put on all this...
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The Saga Continues...
Sigh.
YOU GUYS. It has been a crazy, weird, wildly surreal few days over here. Remember my last post? Where I was all ‘Ommigod my flu is gone and I’m out of bed and doing stuff again and it feels so GOOD and so RIGHT and OMMIGOD I AM SOOO HAPPPPYYYYY LA LA LA BRAIN EXPLOSION!!!”
Well. I may have been a HAIR premature in the celebration department. Seems there was a LOT more...
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YOGA-GRATITUDE!
So last night I took my first yoga class in three days.
Whaaaaat?! Three days?!?! But whyyyyyy Alison?!?! You normally go EVERY DAY!!!!
Totally true. I normally practice every day, some type of yoga, without exception. Because I need it for my health, well-being, and sanity. I know that about myself and as such, I make it a priority! So then WHY have I missed three days in a row? Well…
...
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30 Day Yoga Challenge: Day--Ohhhh, EFF it!*
Ok, yes yes, I KNOW I said I was going to post every day of this challenge but well, things got a little busy. By which I mean a LOT busy. I’m talking four-or-fewer-hours-of-sleep-per-night-CRAZY BUSY. And since I value my sanity (somewhat), when presented with the choice of ‘Blog for 30 minutes’ or ‘Get 30 more minutes of glorious glorious SLEEP!’, I opted for the...
March 2013
6 posts
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30 Day Yoga Challenge: Day 3.
Tuesday, March 19, 5:30 & 8pm.
WHAT the—OH yes, that’s right guys: I doubled it up today!
Actually it’s not that big a deal, I do it all the time, Tuesdays and Thursdays. Bikram at 5:30, and Hot Power Vinyasa at 8. Lest you think I’m a MANIAC, let me ‘splain. The two styles actually complement each other perfectly. Bikram is all about alignment, Vinyasa is all...
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30 Day Yoga Challenge: Day 2.
Monday, March 18, 6:30pm
So this class was a bit of a disappointment. Well, I suppose that’s a little harsh. It was a bit of a letdown. And really, it was probably only even that because I had SO overhyped it and built it up in my head. It was a Vinyasa class—
Wait, WHAT?! Alison, you do VINYASA?!?
Yeah guys! I totally do! And I LOVE it! Vinyasa was actually my first introduction to...
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30 Day Yoga Challenge: Day 1
That’s right, I’m officially recapping a class! I know, it’s been a minute since I’ve done THAT! But seeing that it’s a new 30 Day Challenge, I think it’s a good time to re-start! So I’ll be attempting to write—no, I WILL BE WRITING a post every day during the challenge, so you can follow along with me. OHHHH LUCKY YOU!!! So here we go, Day 1 (which...
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Thirty Day Challenge--OMG LAST CHANCE!!!
Hey guys! Happy St. Patrick’s Day! Wishing you all a lovely day of green juice, green beer, green bagels, and all other manner of festive novelty green foods!
But the real reason for this post is to let you know that the 30 Day Challenge starts today! And that it’s NOT too late for you to get onboard! Shoot me an email at iapnap30days@gmail.com to sign on. You do yoga every day for 30 days, I...
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Fashionably Honest.
Took class last night with a favorite super-aggressive, brutally honest, super-hilarious teacher of mine. There were many amusing moments. This was one. During Half Moon…
Teacher: Come down and push, Push, PUUUUUSSSSHHHHH—ALISON! NICE OUTFIT! You look like Coco Chanel!—and change!
Well. THAT was a first! Just call me Coco, guys.
(For the record, I was wearing neither...
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Thirty Day Challenge Update!
Hey guys! So as I write this it’s Sunday night, which means that in exactly two weeks, the second ever IAPNAP 30 Day Challenge begins!
YAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!
If you don’t have a CLUE what I’m talking about, here’s the basic idea:
I—and any of you who want to—will commit to practice yoga—any form, any style, any length of time, at a studio, in your home,...
February 2013
4 posts
10 tags
It's That Time Again...
NO, I am not talking about the holidays! Those are over! Or, not started yet… or something. WHATEVER. I am talking about…
THIRTY DAY CHALLENGE TIME!!!!
YAAAAAAAYYYY!!!!
This blog has been around for about two years now, sparked in large part by my very first 30 Day Challenge waaaaay back in 2011! So to celebrate the two years, and because my yoga practice is taking off in CRAZY...
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Letters To Myself: My Latest on 'Elephant...
(This isn’t really yoga-related per se, except in the sense that when it comes down to it, EVERYTHING is yoga related… well, and that I wrote it for an online yoga journal! ENJOY!)
I’ve been going through a really rough time lately. I had a conflict with a close friend a few weeks ago that’s left our relationship strained, and me feeling extremely hurt, confused, sad,...
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V-Day Bikram Yoga Love.
This story comes to us from my dear friend Maddie. Maddie lives in New York, as I do, and we practice together pretty much all the time. So much so that even though we look nothing alike, teachers often confuse our names. Lately, Maddie’s been traveling a lot, and of course still practicing at any studio she can find out of town.
The other day, she was telling me about a studio she...
January 2013
4 posts
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Brilliant Idea.
Someone please manufacture a line of Bikram tank tops that read:
“THIS IS MY SUCKED IN STOMACH!!!”
You will sell MILLIONS. I promise.
That is all.
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New Pole Trick!
Check it out guys, it’s called ‘Yogini’! I think you’ll see why…
Looks familiar, yes?
To be honest though, I think Floor Bow should really remain on the floor… And if you saw the bruise on my right side right now, I’m pretty sure you’d agree.
OUCH. I mean, NAMASTE.
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A Little PINspiration...
GUESS WHAT, YOU GUYS?! I’ve recently been reminded that Pinterest is a thing that exists! And as such, I’ve started a board!
WOOOOOO!!! Big excitement, ammiright?!?
Well actually, it kind of IS. For ME anyway. You see, part of my plan for the new year (and really for the rest of my life) is to start off every day INSPIRED. By nature, or something I read, or a painting, or music, or anything...
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“GUYS. If you don’t want me to be passionate, you need to take a different...”
– Spoken by the teacher from last night’s Bikram class, after giving a few ‘tough love’ corrections.
I hope you’re ALL lucky enough to have a teacher like this :)
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Shakira Was Right...
It’s New Year’s Eve. Class is packed, with a lively energy befitting the holiday. We’re into the second set of Hands To Feet / Padahastasana, and the teacher is on a ROLL…
Teacher: Annnnnnnd shake your hips, yes and no—wait no, I mean, your head… shake your HEAD yes and no… No, NO! Shake your HIPS yes and no! (laughs) What would that look like?! Someone...
December 2012
6 posts
11 tags
Pushing Back Against Chaos
YOU GUYS. Watch this video:
It’ll make you: a) wonder what the EFF is WRONG with people who engage in senseless acts of violence, b) feel so SO lucky and SO happy to be alive, and c) feel SO grateful for every healer who has ever touched your life, and “pushed back against the chaos”.
And it’s that last one that really stuck with me. The one about being grateful for...
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Subtle Magic On The Metro North
Holidays are not really my thing. The big ones, that is. Little ones, harmless ones, sure ok. Halloween is fun. Easter is kind of silly. Even Valentine’s day is tolerable. I mean sure it’s not the BEST time if you’re single, but at least you get to stuff your face with candy for a few hours. It’s harmless. Fun! GOOD TIMES AND CANDY HEARTS.
The big holidays? The ones where...
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On Persistence...
I’ve been practicing yoga in some form or other since December 18, 2006. That’s very nearly six years ago. For at least five of those years, I’ve been working on jumping into a handstand.
Yes.
I’ve been working on this ONE trick, for FIVE YEARS.
With very little to show for it.
This past Thursday night I was in class, nearly in tears, because after SO long and SO many...
November 2012
6 posts
5 tags
Unsolicited Advice
I’m in the locker room this morning, after 6am Bikram. I’m rushing around to gather my things, get dressed, slap some makeup on my face, flatiron my hair (I’ve been recently awakened to the MAGIC of straight hair, you guys!), and get my arse to the office for 8am. A significantly older (I’m guessing 70ish?) woman walks in…
Woman: Hello Alison! How’s your pole...
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Bikram Yoga Dictionary: "Bartending"
‘bar-tend-ing: The act of mixing and transferring water and/or other electrolyte beverages between or amongst a number of bottles during a Bikram yoga class. Usually performed in order to achieve the ideal balance of ice to liquids in each bottle, thus keeping as much liquid as possible as cold as possible for as long as possible.
“After a grueling standing series, the class finally...
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The Abyss.
I’m not sure what this MEANS… seeing as ‘the abyss’ is not animate in any way… I mean, unless it IS… Abyss’s are weird, you guys! I remember seeing an exhibit at an aquarium in North Carolina (I think?) titled “THE ABYSS!!!”…
…and maybe that title was just for effect and to get people excited, but whatever, it worked.
Anyway,...
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Grammar Police!
Class is about to begin. I’m doing all my last minute preparations: straightening my towels, setting my electrolyte packet JUST SO next to my water bottle, twisting the top third of my hair into a tiny ponytail on the back of my head, just off to the side so it won’t be in the way during Savasana (very tricky business!), when the teacher takes her place at the podium and begins her...
August 2012
3 posts
4 tags
My Secret Is Out!
Class has just started. The teacher is on the podium, and with her instruction, the students begin the first breathing exercise.
Teacher: And inhale… Alison, will you teach us some tricks after class? Exhale…
Me: (head tipped back, through my exhale) Uh-huh!
Teacher: …And inhale… Alison is a PROFESSIONAL POLE DANCER!
Class: (silence, as heads turn in my direction)
...
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Update, And A Little Freestyle...
Well, long story short, yoga has been tough lately. I’ve been dancing a lot—really working the pole (NOT for money, CALM DOWN), and taking some INSANE flexibility/contortion classes, and doing a little Vinyasa just to balance things out and restore range of motion—and it’s made things… different.
Not different bad, necessarily. Just… DIFFERENT.
My body is...
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Two Observations...
…after Hot Power Vinyasa last night.
Wait WHAT?! Hot Power Vinyasa, Alison?! Are you for fucking SERIOUS?!
Yes, it’s true. Hot Power Vinyasa is a thing that I do now. It’s in addition to Bikram, not as a substitute. Don’t burn me at the stake, ok? Whatever, it’s fun—all right, it’s ridiculously hard—and I like it and it works all the creaky kinks...
July 2012
10 posts
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Mailbag: The Lowdown On Pole Dancing & Fitness.
Hey Girl Hey!
Thanks for the question. Let me try to explain…
Pole dancing is only the most AMAZEBALLS thing in the world! I mean, uhhhh… next to BIKRAM, of course…. YES. I got involved in this art-sport-stripper activity when I went to a friend’s birthday party, which she had at a pole dancing studio. The teacher taught us a few basic little spins and twirls on the...
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Thoughts On Yoga And Body Image: Part 1.
(I’ve got a lot to say on this topic. Too much for just one post! So it’s going to be a whole week of howlers. LOOK OUT.)
Hey yoga ladies! Have you heard or participated in this conversation lately?
“Oh my GOD. I ate SO MUCH today. It was disgusting. I ate a SANDWICH. Like, A WHOLE SANDWICH! On BREAD. And then I had pita chips. With hummus! And it gets worse, this morning, I...
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Questions???
Hey guys! Guess what? Dr. Boss is on vacation this week! Which means I’ll be spending my workdays lazily sipping my coffee, taking lengthy lunchbreaks, and perusing the interweb for tips on how to eat fire.
No kidding! I saw a fire eater at Coney Island last weekend and got inspired! I mean how cool would it be if I could combine pole dancing and fire eating? Like, I could climb up the...
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Congratulations, Mr. Bizet!
Check it out, you guys! This was on the wipe board at the studio this morning:
WOW!!!
Apparently, somewhere in between writing ‘Carmen’ and coming back from the dead, Monsieur Georges Bizet found time to finish a 30 Day Challenge! I suppose we should amend the standard Bikram saying: “Never too old, never too bad, never too sick, never too late DEAD to start from the scratch...
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Pro Tips.
So I’m in the locker room before class starts. You know, just doing my normal pre-class thing, albeit a little quicker and closer to the start of class than I usually do. What can I say, train delays. It’s New York City. I’m chatting with Maddie (not her name) about the merits of various types of protein replacement powders (bottom line: whey gives me gas, soy makes me...
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Mailbag: The Mental Side Of Injury.
Hey there!
So sorry to hear about your injury. As you know, I can fully—and I mean FULLY—empathize!
I think for most of us the toughest part of being injured isn’t the physical pain (although that can get pretty nasty too), it’s the fact that we’re being held captive by a malfunction in our bodies that renders us incapable of doing something we want to do. In...
Clarification!
Re: Yesterday’s post, titled “Walking Wounded Carry Stretcher Cases”.
While I only knew this phrase as a line from a British sex farce, apparently it’s a common phrase used—of all places—in the military. Leave it to MY DAD to know that! In an email sent yesterday afternoon he explains it all for us…
Re: “Walking Wounded Carry Stretcher...
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"Walking Wounded Carry Stretcher Cases!"
I don’t really know what this phrase means, exactly, but it’s a line from “Noises Off”, a delightful sex farce of a play I was in in High School.
I played the Carol Burnett role. OBVIOUSLY.
Anyway, I think of this line every time I’m sick or injured but have to go on doing my normal life, job, activities, etc., anyway. Which means, with my recent back injury and...
